Looks like the PSU Newegg.com shipped out to me was faulty. It would partially power the machine but the EATX12V 4-pin port wasn't receiving any power. I plugged in my 240W PSU from my media center machine and managed to post late Monday night. I followed that up by dancing a short victory jig, then promptly fell asleep.

This morning I found a hole-in-the-wall PC repair place. Broken computers filled the shelves behind the counter. The owner sold me a dubious looking 400W PSU (likely used) for $35. Thankfully it was sufficient and the machine posts with its own PSU now. I'll need to consider purchasing a higher end PSU.

Ubuntu was a breeze to install to a single disk, and now I'm up and running with dual monitors. I'll be spending most of the afternoon writing copy and getting some blog posts prepped.